Getting Out of a Rut
December is here! As the year winds down, you may feel a sense of dread, realizing you haven't met certain long-held goals. The gap between expectation and reality can feel unbearable, leaving you stuck. However, feeling this discomfort is a positive signal: it means you have the spirit to fight for your best life, and it's time to zoom out, change your approach, and pursue energizing goals that get you out of this mental cage. #WeAreAdulting!
1. Zoom Out for Perspective
When you are in a rut, your mind is prone to recency bias, disproportionately focusing on recent failures or pending tasks while forgetting past successes. To counteract this, take deeply reflective time to objectively review the entire year. My new cards, Ctrl+Alt+Me, can guide your personal review or discussions with your inner circle. You will likely find you achieved more than you realize. The remaining issues are simply gaps in an otherwise full life, not indicators of total failure.
2. Share Your Struggles Discerningly
Identify people with both the empathy and experience to help you find solutions or reframe the problem. While a sympathetic ear from our inner circle is comforting, discussing problems with someone who cannot offer strategic help can turn you into a complainer rather than a solver, leaving you feeling more helpless. If you need to tap into different sources, first seek out mentors or experts for the troubleshooting phase. Your closest friends can offer encouragement once you have a plan. Both types of support are important!
“The past is where you learned the lesson. The future is where you apply the lesson. Don’t give up in the middle.” — Anthony James
3. Do Things Differently
Getting unstuck requires new actions to generate better results and boost your physical and mental energy.
Practice Strategic Yes/No: Be unrelenting in saying "no" to things that drain you or distract you, and be open to saying "yes" to challenges that genuinely stretch you. Think of Shonda Rhimes’ book (“Year of Yes”) if you need some encouragement.
Break the Monotony: Escaping through holidays is temporary. Instead, implement a new, sustainable daily or weekly routine. If your current strategy isn't working—for example, if you're not getting job offers—adjust your game plan. Switch from endless applications to seeking informational meetings with company executives to network and gather feedback.
Audit Your Energy: Your mind needs exercise. A morning workout, especially high-intensity cardio, sets a positive tone for the day and releases endorphins that motivate action.
Replace Bad Habits: It is not enough to stop a bad habit; you must intentionally replace it with a good one. When tempted to complain, list something you are grateful for instead. When facing rejection, instead of giving up, channel that energy into a side-hustle where you can pursue what you love, reinforcing your strengths and competence.
4. Let Go of Old Dreams
Sometimes, a rut stems from a sense of under-achievement against old dreams or 5- to 10-year plans that were ill-informed or driven by external pressure. If a goal feels oppressive rather than inspirational, give yourself permission to change direction. The sooner you let go of outdated aspirations, the sooner you can be energized by new, relevant ones.
Final Thoughts
Don't wait until January to change your state of mind. Use the final month of the year to:
Reflect on what has passed.
Refresh your mind and body.
Reset your priorities so you can start the new year prepared to pursue your goals.
Unpack the baggage that’s been slowing you down and acquire a new state of mind now. Let's travel light as we enter the new year!
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